(This is a post I originally wrote for FamilyFuninPA.com. You can find the original HERE.)
We are in the process of teaching our 16-year-old son to drive,
and I'm sharing our experiences and some tips, just in case you have
never been through this exciting and scary stage of parenting. Part 1
can be found here. Click here for part 2.
So, your teen has a fresh, new permit burning a hole in the glove
compartment, he/she has quickly tired of being confined to parking lot
lessons, and you’re ready to hit the road. Here are a few tips to get
you on your way.
Start small. Find a quiet residential neighborhood with not
much traffic and let your teen get the feel of making turns, stopping at
stop signs, and remaining calm when encountering cars coming the other
way! My son tends to hug the right side of the road a little too
closely, maybe out of fear of the oncoming traffic, or maybe just
because it takes awhile to get the feel for where the side of the road
is in relation to the car. Expect a few “close calls” with mailboxes in
the beginning — and try not to grip the passenger door handle too hard;
they will notice, and it does hurt their confidence. Which leads me to
the next tip:
Remain Calm. This is a recurring “tip” in everything I write
about teaching your teen to drive, because it is the hardest to adhere
to. Short of installing a brake on the passenger side, though, there
will be times you have to yell, “Stop!” or “Look out!” But don’t berate
or belittle your teen’s effort. Pay attention to their strengths and
offer confidence-building praise. Constructively and calmly point out
the areas they need to work on. As long as you are not pushing them too
quickly beyond their ability, everything will be okay!
Never Assume. Even if your teen passed the permit
examination with flying colors, even if they seem to know every
Pennsylvania driving law by heart — don’t assume this information will
translate once they are behind the wheel! In fact, it is probably better
to always assume that they don’t remember one thing that they have ever
learned about driving.
As an example: Of course, they are familiar with the “Right Turn on
Red” law. They’ve heard about it their whole life, and they answered
questions about it on their permit test. But when they pull up to a red
light, don’t assume that they know how to put that information into
practice. They are more likely to be thinking: “I am turning right. The
light is red. Right turn on red means I don’t have to stop!” Believe it
or not, this is very common assumption on a new driver’s part — they
don't understand that just because it is legal to turn right when the
light is red, they still have to check for traffic before they proceed.
Point this out to them before they arrive at the red light and talk them
through it.
Also, never assume that just because you have been driving them
around the same streets for the first 16 years of their life that they
actually know how to get anywhere on their own. I can practically
guarantee you, they don’t. I am constantly asking my son to tell me the
name of the street we are on while we are driving, and to talk me
through the directions for how to get where we are planning to go. (“If
we are going to the Mall, which way will we turn at the end of this
street?”)
Don't get distracted. As your child gets more & more
confident behind the wheel, you will start to relax during your practice
sessions. However, it is important that you not relax TOO much. They
still need your guidance. Do not get distracted by phone calls, and
absolutely, positively do not text! Consider yourself an extension of
your teen as they are driving. Be vigilant and stay aware of any
potential problems that you may encounter along the road.
Enjoy the journey. It can certainly be stressful and scary,
but I love the time spent with my son as he learns to drive. At a stage
in his life when he might not always necessarily choose to spend time
with his parents, this is a lot of “bonus” time we get to spend
together. He actually volunteers to go with us when we run errands if it
means he can drive, and I treasure this time together.
Consider private lessons. Our school district offers
behind-the-wheel driver education lessons through its community
education office. They are worth every penny. There are some things a
“stranger” can get across to your teen better than you can. In our
eldest son’s case, the teacher gave him a great lecture about not
texting and driving, which I really appreciated. And a “professional” is
the best person to teach your child how to parallel park! In our case,
our child’s driving instructor can also administer the PA driver’s test
at the completion of the lessons, which is very comforting and helpful.
Plus, most insurance companies will offer a reduced premium to teens who
have taken a course.
Good luck as your teen edges closer to getting that driver's license!
And just a reminder: as the driving exam approaches, be sure to check
with your insurance agent to get your new driver insured.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Teaching your Pennsylvania Teen to Drive, Part 2: Parking Lot Lessons
(This is a post originally written for FamilyFuninPA.com. The original can be found HERE.)
We are in the process of teaching our 16-year-old son to drive, and I'm sharing our experiences and some tips, just in case you have never been through this exciting and scary stage of parenting. Part 1 can be found here.
So, your teenager has turned 16 and has successfully obtained their Pennsylvania Learner’s Permit. It’s time to hit the road! Buckle up, parents, you are in for a wild ride!
Step 1: Before you do anything else, make sure your Xanax prescription is full…. Kidding! That’s just a joke! I swear! But I am not kidding when I say, you DO want to get your brain into a calm, zen-like state before putting your child behind the steering wheel. Deep breaths, meditation, yoga, whatever works for you…
Tip #1: No matter how much the DMV worker teases your child that they should drive you home immediately after passing their permit knowledge test (seriously, DMV guy? What was up with that?), this is NOT a good idea!
Tip #2: No matter how your child tries to convince you that they will have no problem with driving because they have driven go-karts or golf carts and they are really great at Grand Theft Auto — trust me, they are CLUELESS.
For the first driving lesson, you should go to a large, empty parking lot, perhaps at a school or a church. When your teen gets into the driver’s seat for the first time, you will have to teach them where everything is. Everything. Don’t make any assumptions based on the fact that they have been observing your driving for 16 years; they will not know where the gear shift is, the turn signals, the windshield wipers… nothing. Start with that.
Have them adjust the mirrors — they’ve been taught in their drivers’ ed class that there is a “new” way to adjust the mirrors, which includes leaning their head against the driver’s side window and making sure they can only see a tiny bit of the car in the driver’s side mirror, and then leaning toward the middle of the car and making sure they can only see a little bit of the passenger side of the car in the passenger side mirror.
During this first lesson, you will also want to have them practice turning the car off and on. Again, it’s easy for us to assume they will know how to do that, but that is not necessarily true. When the car is running, have them practice moving their foot from the gas to the brake and back again. So basic, right? But it goes against their instincts to use only one foot for both things, and they really need to get the feel for where each thing is.
Next, make sure their foot is firmly planted on the brake, then have them switch gears into Drive. (By the way, this is all assuming you are not driving a stick shift. If you are, I can’t help you with that one! Good luck to you.) Make sure there is a nice straight path in front of you, and have your child drive straight ahead to a pre-designated stopping point. I’m talking just 20-30 yards ahead. This is just to help them get the feel for how hard to press on the gas and the brake. They will drive very, very slowly and nervously at first and the stops may be very jerky until they get the feel for it. Just remain calm and be very positive about how they are doing.
They’ll soon be ready to make gradual turns around the parking lot. Be prepared for the fact that they will have no concept of when to start turning and where the passenger side of the car is in relation to the right side of the “road.” You may take some REALLY wide turns for awhile and the speeds will be erratic. This is where that Xanax might come in handy. Haha, I’m KIDDING!! I swear! This part is a piece of cake. You are in an empty parking lot! How much damage can they do? Just continue to breathe deeply and calmly praise their efforts. Take a few laps in different directions, and after they feel more confident in turning, starting & stopping, you can call it a day. You’ll have 1/2 hour to record in the Supervised Driving Log; only 64-1/2 more to go!
I would recommend spending a few more lessons in the parking lot. Your child needs to build up their confidence and get more of a feel for how the car handles, and you need to practice getting into your zen-like mental state. Because it's a whole 'nother ball game when they get out on the streets with other cars. But we'll save that conversation for another day...
Click here for Part 3: Hitting the Road.
We are in the process of teaching our 16-year-old son to drive, and I'm sharing our experiences and some tips, just in case you have never been through this exciting and scary stage of parenting. Part 1 can be found here.
So, your teenager has turned 16 and has successfully obtained their Pennsylvania Learner’s Permit. It’s time to hit the road! Buckle up, parents, you are in for a wild ride!
Step 1: Before you do anything else, make sure your Xanax prescription is full…. Kidding! That’s just a joke! I swear! But I am not kidding when I say, you DO want to get your brain into a calm, zen-like state before putting your child behind the steering wheel. Deep breaths, meditation, yoga, whatever works for you…
Tip #1: No matter how much the DMV worker teases your child that they should drive you home immediately after passing their permit knowledge test (seriously, DMV guy? What was up with that?), this is NOT a good idea!
Tip #2: No matter how your child tries to convince you that they will have no problem with driving because they have driven go-karts or golf carts and they are really great at Grand Theft Auto — trust me, they are CLUELESS.
For the first driving lesson, you should go to a large, empty parking lot, perhaps at a school or a church. When your teen gets into the driver’s seat for the first time, you will have to teach them where everything is. Everything. Don’t make any assumptions based on the fact that they have been observing your driving for 16 years; they will not know where the gear shift is, the turn signals, the windshield wipers… nothing. Start with that.
Have them adjust the mirrors — they’ve been taught in their drivers’ ed class that there is a “new” way to adjust the mirrors, which includes leaning their head against the driver’s side window and making sure they can only see a tiny bit of the car in the driver’s side mirror, and then leaning toward the middle of the car and making sure they can only see a little bit of the passenger side of the car in the passenger side mirror.
During this first lesson, you will also want to have them practice turning the car off and on. Again, it’s easy for us to assume they will know how to do that, but that is not necessarily true. When the car is running, have them practice moving their foot from the gas to the brake and back again. So basic, right? But it goes against their instincts to use only one foot for both things, and they really need to get the feel for where each thing is.
Next, make sure their foot is firmly planted on the brake, then have them switch gears into Drive. (By the way, this is all assuming you are not driving a stick shift. If you are, I can’t help you with that one! Good luck to you.) Make sure there is a nice straight path in front of you, and have your child drive straight ahead to a pre-designated stopping point. I’m talking just 20-30 yards ahead. This is just to help them get the feel for how hard to press on the gas and the brake. They will drive very, very slowly and nervously at first and the stops may be very jerky until they get the feel for it. Just remain calm and be very positive about how they are doing.
They’ll soon be ready to make gradual turns around the parking lot. Be prepared for the fact that they will have no concept of when to start turning and where the passenger side of the car is in relation to the right side of the “road.” You may take some REALLY wide turns for awhile and the speeds will be erratic. This is where that Xanax might come in handy. Haha, I’m KIDDING!! I swear! This part is a piece of cake. You are in an empty parking lot! How much damage can they do? Just continue to breathe deeply and calmly praise their efforts. Take a few laps in different directions, and after they feel more confident in turning, starting & stopping, you can call it a day. You’ll have 1/2 hour to record in the Supervised Driving Log; only 64-1/2 more to go!
I would recommend spending a few more lessons in the parking lot. Your child needs to build up their confidence and get more of a feel for how the car handles, and you need to practice getting into your zen-like mental state. Because it's a whole 'nother ball game when they get out on the streets with other cars. But we'll save that conversation for another day...
Click here for Part 3: Hitting the Road.
Teaching your Pennsylvania Teen to Drive, Part 1: Getting the Learners Permit
(This is a post I originally wrote for FamilyFuninPA.com. You can find the original HERE.)
Our second son just turned 16, and, like many 16-year-olds, his number one priority on his birthday was to pay a visit to the DMV to take the required knowledge test for the Pennsylvania Learner’s Permit.
Fortunately this is not our first rodeo, so we knew what to expect this time around. But if you have never been through this exciting and scary stage of parenting—teaching a child to drive— I thought it might be helpful to share some of our experiences.
**Note: The information below is based on Pennsylvania Driving Laws as of February 2016. All information is subject to change!**
First, be aware that before your child can obtain a permit, he or she will have to have a physical examination done by a health care professional. The physical must take place within 6 months prior to the child’s 16th birthday and is good for one year. It is part of the Non-Commercial Learner’s Permit Application.
Tip: MedExpress can provide this physical on a walk-in basis for only $30
Your child should prepare for the Learner’s Permit knowledge test by studying the questions in the Pennsylvania Driver’s Manual. This manual is available at any Driver’s License Center and is also given out as part of any in-school driver’s education classes. It can also be found online here.
Tip: The questions on the exam are pulled WORD-FOR-WORD from the practice questions in the Driver’s Manual. Study the practice questions at the end of each chapter and you will not have any problems passing the exam.
When your child is ready to take the Learner’s Permit test, check with your local DMV office to see when they are open. Their hours are often fairly limited. When you go, be sure to have the following with you:
The exam itself is a maximum of 18 questions long; your child must answer 15 correctly to pass.
If your child does not pass the exam, it is not the end of the world. You’ll get your forms back and can return to try again as soon as the next day!
Once the exam is successfully passed, your child will be given a Junior Learner's Permit, which your new driver must carry with them every time they practice. It will be good for up to one year, and your teen will be eligible to test for their license in 6 months. During this training period, your teen will be allowed to drive only under the supervision of a licensed driver 21 or older.
You will also be given “The Parent’s Supervised Driving Program” booklet. This booklet contains lots of helpful tips for helping your teen to learn to drive, as well as the Supervised Driving Log. This is very helpful because your teen must legally log 65 hours of practice time — 10 of which must be at night and 5 of which in bad weather.
Once you have all of this, you’re ready to hit the road! That’s when the “fun” really begins…. I will talk about that in the next article, which you can find HERE!
Our second son just turned 16, and, like many 16-year-olds, his number one priority on his birthday was to pay a visit to the DMV to take the required knowledge test for the Pennsylvania Learner’s Permit.
Fortunately this is not our first rodeo, so we knew what to expect this time around. But if you have never been through this exciting and scary stage of parenting—teaching a child to drive— I thought it might be helpful to share some of our experiences.
**Note: The information below is based on Pennsylvania Driving Laws as of February 2016. All information is subject to change!**
First, be aware that before your child can obtain a permit, he or she will have to have a physical examination done by a health care professional. The physical must take place within 6 months prior to the child’s 16th birthday and is good for one year. It is part of the Non-Commercial Learner’s Permit Application.
Tip: MedExpress can provide this physical on a walk-in basis for only $30
Your child should prepare for the Learner’s Permit knowledge test by studying the questions in the Pennsylvania Driver’s Manual. This manual is available at any Driver’s License Center and is also given out as part of any in-school driver’s education classes. It can also be found online here.
Tip: The questions on the exam are pulled WORD-FOR-WORD from the practice questions in the Driver’s Manual. Study the practice questions at the end of each chapter and you will not have any problems passing the exam.
When your child is ready to take the Learner’s Permit test, check with your local DMV office to see when they are open. Their hours are often fairly limited. When you go, be sure to have the following with you:
- Completed Non-Commercial Learner’s Permit Application
- Original Birth Certificate with seal or passport
- Signed social security card
- Check for $34.50 made out to PennDOT
- Parent’s driver’s license
The exam itself is a maximum of 18 questions long; your child must answer 15 correctly to pass.
If your child does not pass the exam, it is not the end of the world. You’ll get your forms back and can return to try again as soon as the next day!
Once the exam is successfully passed, your child will be given a Junior Learner's Permit, which your new driver must carry with them every time they practice. It will be good for up to one year, and your teen will be eligible to test for their license in 6 months. During this training period, your teen will be allowed to drive only under the supervision of a licensed driver 21 or older.
You will also be given “The Parent’s Supervised Driving Program” booklet. This booklet contains lots of helpful tips for helping your teen to learn to drive, as well as the Supervised Driving Log. This is very helpful because your teen must legally log 65 hours of practice time — 10 of which must be at night and 5 of which in bad weather.
Once you have all of this, you’re ready to hit the road! That’s when the “fun” really begins…. I will talk about that in the next article, which you can find HERE!
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