(This is a post originally written for FamilyFuninPA.com. The original can be found HERE.)
We are in the process of teaching our 16-year-old son to drive,
and I'm sharing our experiences and some tips, just in case you have
never been through this exciting and scary stage of parenting. Part 1
can be found here.
So, your teenager has turned 16 and has successfully obtained their
Pennsylvania Learner’s Permit. It’s time to hit the road! Buckle up,
parents, you are in for a wild ride!
Step 1: Before you do anything else, make sure your Xanax
prescription is full…. Kidding! That’s just a joke! I swear! But I am
not kidding when I say, you DO want to get your brain into a calm,
zen-like state before putting your child behind the steering wheel. Deep
breaths, meditation, yoga, whatever works for you…
Tip #1: No matter how much the DMV worker teases your child
that they should drive you home immediately after passing their permit
knowledge test (seriously, DMV guy? What was up with that?), this is NOT
a good idea!
Tip #2: No matter how your child tries to convince you that
they will have no problem with driving because they have driven go-karts
or golf carts and they are really great at Grand Theft Auto — trust me,
they are CLUELESS.
For the first driving lesson, you should go to a large, empty parking
lot, perhaps at a school or a church. When your teen gets into the
driver’s seat for the first time, you will have to teach them where
everything is. Everything. Don’t make any assumptions based on the fact
that they have been observing your driving for 16 years; they will not
know where the gear shift is, the turn signals, the windshield wipers…
nothing. Start with that.
Have them adjust the mirrors — they’ve been taught in their drivers’
ed class that there is a “new” way to adjust the mirrors, which includes
leaning their head against the driver’s side window and making sure
they can only see a tiny bit of the car in the driver’s side mirror, and
then leaning toward the middle of the car and making sure they can only
see a little bit of the passenger side of the car in the passenger side
mirror.
During this first lesson, you will also want to have them practice
turning the car off and on. Again, it’s easy for us to assume they will
know how to do that, but that is not necessarily true. When the car is
running, have them practice moving their foot from the gas to the brake
and back again. So basic, right? But it goes against their instincts to
use only one foot for both things, and they really need to get the feel
for where each thing is.
Next, make sure their foot is firmly planted on the brake, then have
them switch gears into Drive. (By the way, this is all assuming you are
not driving a stick shift. If you are, I can’t help you with that one!
Good luck to you.) Make sure there is a nice straight path in front of
you, and have your child drive straight ahead to a pre-designated
stopping point. I’m talking just 20-30 yards ahead. This is just to help
them get the feel for how hard to press on the gas and the brake. They
will drive very, very slowly and nervously at first and the stops may be
very jerky until they get the feel for it. Just remain calm and be very
positive about how they are doing.
They’ll soon be ready to make gradual turns around the parking lot.
Be prepared for the fact that they will have no concept of when to start
turning and where the passenger side of the car is in relation to the
right side of the “road.” You may take some REALLY wide turns for awhile
and the speeds will be erratic. This is where that Xanax might come in
handy. Haha, I’m KIDDING!! I swear! This part is a piece of cake. You
are in an empty parking lot! How much damage can they do? Just continue
to breathe deeply and calmly praise their efforts. Take a few laps in
different directions, and after they feel more confident in turning,
starting & stopping, you can call it a day. You’ll have 1/2 hour to
record in the Supervised Driving Log; only 64-1/2 more to go!
I would recommend spending a few more lessons in the parking lot.
Your child needs to build up their confidence and get more of a feel for
how the car handles, and you need to practice getting into your
zen-like mental state. Because it's a whole 'nother ball game when they
get out on the streets with other cars. But we'll save that conversation
for another day...
Click here for Part 3: Hitting the Road.
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