Teaching your Pennsylvania Teen to Drive, Part 3: Hitting the Road

(This is a post I originally wrote for FamilyFuninPA.com. You can find the original HERE.)

We are in the process of teaching our 16-year-old son to drive, and I'm sharing our experiences and some tips, just in case you have never been through this exciting and scary stage of parenting.  Part 1 can be found here. Click here for part 2.

So, your teen has a fresh, new permit burning a hole in the glove compartment, he/she has quickly tired of being confined to parking lot lessons, and you’re ready to hit the road. Here are a few tips to get you on your way.

Start small. Find a quiet residential neighborhood with not much traffic and let your teen get the feel of making turns, stopping at stop signs, and remaining calm when encountering cars coming the other way! My son tends to hug the right side of the road a little too closely, maybe out of fear of the oncoming traffic, or maybe just because it takes awhile to get the feel for where the side of the road is in relation to the car. Expect a few “close calls” with mailboxes in the beginning — and try not to grip the passenger door handle too hard; they will notice, and it does hurt their confidence. Which leads me to the next tip:

Remain Calm. This is a recurring “tip” in everything I write about teaching your teen to drive, because it is the hardest to adhere to. Short of installing a brake on the passenger side, though, there will be times you have to yell, “Stop!” or “Look out!” But don’t berate or belittle your teen’s effort. Pay attention to their strengths and offer confidence-building praise. Constructively and calmly point out the areas they need to work on. As long as you are not pushing them too quickly beyond their ability, everything will be okay!

Never Assume. Even if your teen passed the permit examination with flying colors, even if they seem to know every Pennsylvania driving law by heart — don’t assume this information will translate once they are behind the wheel! In fact, it is probably better to always assume that they don’t remember one thing that they have ever learned about driving.

As an example: Of course, they are familiar with the “Right Turn on Red” law. They’ve heard about it their whole life, and they answered questions about it on their permit test. But when they pull up to a red light, don’t assume that they know how to put that information into practice. They are more likely to be thinking: “I am turning right. The light is red. Right turn on red means I don’t have to stop!” Believe it or not, this is very common assumption on a new driver’s part — they don't understand that just because it is legal to turn right when the light is red, they still have to check for traffic before they proceed. Point this out to them before they arrive at the red light and talk them through it.

Also, never assume that just because you have been driving them around the same streets for the first 16 years of their life that they actually know how to get anywhere on their own. I can practically guarantee you, they don’t. I am constantly asking my son to tell me the name of the street we are on while we are driving, and to talk me through the directions for how to get where we are planning to go. (“If we are going to the Mall, which way will we turn at the end of this street?”)

Don't get distracted. As your child gets more & more confident behind the wheel, you will start to relax during your practice sessions. However, it is important that you not relax TOO much. They still need your guidance. Do not get distracted by phone calls, and absolutely, positively do not text! Consider yourself an extension of your teen as they are driving. Be vigilant and stay aware of any potential problems that you may encounter along the road.

Enjoy the journey. It can certainly be stressful and scary, but I love the time spent with my son as he learns to drive. At a stage in his life when he might not always necessarily choose to spend time with his parents, this is a lot of “bonus” time we get to spend together. He actually volunteers to go with us when we run errands if it means he can drive, and I treasure this time together.

Consider private lessons. Our school district offers behind-the-wheel driver education lessons through its community education office. They are worth every penny. There are some things a “stranger” can get across to your teen better than you can. In our eldest son’s case, the teacher gave him a great lecture about not texting and driving, which I really appreciated. And a “professional” is the best person to teach your child how to parallel park! In our case, our child’s driving instructor can also administer the PA driver’s test at the completion of the lessons, which is very comforting and helpful. Plus, most insurance companies will offer a reduced premium to teens who have taken a course.

Good luck as your teen edges closer to getting that driver's license! And just a reminder: as the driving exam approaches, be sure to check with your insurance agent to get your new driver insured.